Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Notes From An Exasperated Remainer

I don't usually do political on this blog but recent events and being laid up in bed set off a kind of stream of consciousness outpouring...

It’s Brexit Day, not.

We’re fracturing before our eyes. I listened ill in bed, while they popped up like meerkats in parliament, here’s Liz Kendall, shrill, the never ending Tory psychodrama, something like that, she says, and earlier in the week, parliament taking over, shall it be EFTA or Norway with knobs on or Canada without bells and whistles, and I’m getting confused, and I consider myself with enough brain cells left still, and maybe a confirmatory vote, because we’re not sure now quite what the will of the people is or was, because let’s face it all the crap about the billions of pounds for the nhs on the side of the Boris leave bus was a lie, and there was big fraud on that side, but we must respect the will of the people, even though we don’t know what the will of the people is, not now, the will isn’t static, there are 16 year olds now who weren’t old enough then but it is their future, and I’m sick of hearing about the will of the people because half the people voted against leaving, so what about their will? But the hard line Brexiteers or Brexiters want us to crash out of the EU without a deal and let’s have WTO, even though Kenneth Clarke says people really don’t know what WTO means and that this is only a default undesired option for countries who’ve not set up better deals or something like that, but there are the people outside waving their purple flags, Nigel’s UKIP flags or Brexit Party flags because they have been betrayed by parliament they say and worse, Tommy Robinson is across the square with his brand of populism and not in a very long time has parliament been on the precipice, as Theresa May tries to get her Withdrawal Agreement through for a third time, division, clear the lobby, John Bercow bellows and the numbers come back and the PMs deal has been defeated again, though with narrower margins even though she agreed to sacrifice her leadership if she could just get it through and even Jacob Rhys Mogg would backtrack on his previous stance if the DUP will too but the DUP say not on your Nellie or they may as well have said that because of the Irish backstop and the fears of a permanent customs union but they don’t want to be treated any different from the mainland UK, are you following so far, and the joke is that Theresa May fell on her own sword and missed, and very few Labour MPs were persuaded across to vote for the deal and they are right when they say the Prime Minister should have reached across the house at the start not at five to midnight to start discussions and so parliament have had to have indicative votes to suggest where to go next because none of the ideas got an overall majority although a people’s vote came close, and people keep asking about Corbyn and Labour’s stance and they are between a rock and a hard place because their membership - of which I am one - are divided as much as the country and those in the deindustrialised areas felt left behind and neglected by successive governments and Westminster and you can’t blame them and there were those Leavers who marched all the way from Sunderland and many in parliament square converged there on this day to celebrate but now they say how they feel betrayed and will never vote ever again, and it was all David Cameron’s fault for running scared of UKIP and putting party interests before what was best for the country and being complacent about the result, or thinking it through and making a huge miscalculation that cost him dearly and left everyone else to clean up his mess, but there’s been no clean up, just a bitter divisive country, which Theresa May inflamed by putting herself with the people against parliament on the steps of number 10 in an unprecedented statement and my MP left the Tory party to become a tigger, that is one of the independent group, who changed their name to Change.org initially without realising that this is a big campaigning organisation and so now have changed to change.uk so more fragments and even more likelihood of a hung parliament next time round, which may be sooner than we think because of talk of a general election which Jeremy Corbyn would like, and I’ve not even started in Scotland yet who feel they’ve been sidelined, and if they don’t get a deal which keeps us close to Europe then they would be justified in having another independence referendum because they are outward looking and they welcome and rely on migrants, and the people who don’t want May’s deal are united against it for very different reasons, the hard line leavers say it’s worse than staying in the EU, and outside parliament all week it was the Pro Remainers with their blue starry European flags and roaring Stop Brexit and there was the petition to revoke article 50 which got 6 million votes or was that the call for a final people’s vote and businesses say we just want certainty and foods and valuable medicines from Europe may be in short supply or unobtainable altogether and the stockpiling has started
And slow forward a few days, well April fools day when there are more debates and I am still ill in bed listening and one MP is saying if people could look his way rather than elsewhere and there are titters and its quite clear that something’s going on in the balcony area, a demonstration has been referred to, and acknowledgement of the rights of people to demonstrate but they have to get on with the important business of the house but I can hear the cacophony in the house and crane up to see my iPad and see Ed Miliband glancing up every now and then to what must be the out of sight balcony, but it’s not until later when I google and see not the titters but the bums, looks like some sort of porno picture but no it’s extinction rebellion, they’ve superglued their arses to the glassed off area in the balcony in protest about the neglect of environmental issues being debated in parliament and slow forward again and the cabinet are locked in discussions for 7 hours or more and the upshot is OMG Theresa May has at last decided to reach across the house and have talks with Jeremy Corbyn and this is the final straw for the ERGers who thinks she’s committed treason for cavorting with the enemy even though she lost her majority and this is what civil countries do - ironically European countries! - where there are hung parliaments or more precisely coalitions, this is the way modern politics works, and isn’t this the whole point? We need to change the way we do things here if democracy is to survive and get up to date and be fit for the twenty first century, but people are saying it’s a trap for Corbyn, and he should keep his hands off Brexit because he could be blamed if it all goes belly up, and then there was the sewage leak onto the chamber where MPs were debating, you could hear the gush of water and you could not make it up

Kate Jay R © April 2019

Friday, 4 January 2019

Goals for 2019

A fresh new year is a great time to start anew or to make yourself some goals for the year ahead and this year is especially important as I'll be reaching a milestone age whether I like it or not!  But I've been doing my year's goals for the last few years now, and for the last year or two I decided to include them in my blog - the writing goals at least. It's a good exercise in taking stock and reviewing what is important, as well as seeing which goals have slipped down the list or off it altogether!  This may be due to lack of time or energy or interest.  But that is life. Ideas evolve, things on the back burner move to the front one and vice versa, while others still are taken off the ring for the foreseeable. 

Writing Goals

Last year I made a lot of progress with my follow up to Down The Tubes. My last word count showed my work in progress to be just shy of 50,000 words which is the usual length of my books! However I've not finished the first draft yet.  I've not been writing quickly, just steadily, and not rushing at it.  But it's the research that's been slowing me down.  It always seems as if I'm not doing anything while I'm researching. There's nothing tangible to show for it, as I collect reams of facts or images or immerse myself in a subject area, even though I'll only be using a fraction of it. But that immersion is important.  So this is my first writing goal. To make good progress with Down The Tubes. Preferably finishing the first draft which I think is achievable.  The second and subsequent drafts should be a lot easier.

My second writing goal is to make progress with another Little Guide.  I have already started elaborating on the ideas but progress is very slow, in part, due to long term health problems (see below).

My third writing goal is to update my satirical anti-novel  Lost The Plot and to get another couple of books into paperback.  I'm never sure though whether all the time and effort putting an e-book into paperback is worth it since I don't sell paperbacks at all. They're nice to have and hold, and to give us gifts.  But I guess many people won't take the chance on an unknown writer - not for the price of a paperback in comparison to an e-book. 

Finally, I shall still try one or two traditional publishers or small presses. I think we all like that vote of confidence and self-belief that publishing affords, and yet at the same time I do like being in control of my own products.

Health goals

Nearly ten years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  But the symptoms are so similar to overlapping conditions, especially ME. In fact, many people with FM also have ME.  The ME specialists in my neck of the woods are good with ME and treat it a neurological condition so I would like to be referred to a specialist.  I did a free 30 minute phone consultation with the ME Association and my symptoms are very consistent with ME.  I'm not sure how this will help in the treatment stakes but at least they will do a batch of tests to rule out other conditions (I hope).  Some of these I have had to do myself. 

I would love to get on top of my other conditions, the worst being Hyperhidrosis.  

Because of the above, I feel I need more input from an enabler, especially with practical help. We (my sister and I) have some very welcome help in the form of transport but other practical help would be welcome too. 

This also relates to my resolve to practise assertiveness and not to be coerced into or expected to do things that make me feel distressed, in pain and fatigued and also not to feel guilty. I did go on assertiveness course many years ago and in a recent situation where I was expected to do something I couldn't, I just ignored it.  I can't change others behaviour but I don't have to engage with it.  So I am going to draw on that very rusty advice in future! 

To try CBD oil, Turmeric with Black Pepper, and Melatonin.  But I have to do these methodically and one at a time to know of there are any benefits.

House Improvement Goals

Making better use of the space in our sitting room, particularly book shelves and units.  Need to get something bespoke.

Also possible shower removal and have a shower over the bath. The removal of the shower can then give me a larger bedroom because as it is I have very little room for manoeuvre.

Other Goals

I would love be able to get back to drop in singing sometimes (but this will depend on getting on top of certain health problems)


Help my sister with a website (this is one of those goals which keeps getting postponed but I need my sister to have something to put on her website first! She has the original art but she needs to get some cards or smaller copies of her work.

Well, not sure all these are achievable and as always they will probably evolve during the course of the year but hey, c'est la vie.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

That Time Of Year Again!

Yes, December has come round again and it's that time of year to evaluate what I've achieved this year!

One of my first goals for this year was to do more writing. I have tried to stick to that where I can, without getting too distracted by social media but it has been a struggle sometimes.  But at the last count I had almost reached 50 thousand words with my follow up to Down The Tubes. As I only begun it last October I am quite pleased with this.  Like knitting rows, the lines grow, slowly and surely into a shape.  Well, I'm hoping it's a shape. But the first draft is the hardest, the shaping and polishing of the second and subsequent drafts is the really enjoyable part.

I also resolved to put another two books back into print.  The ones that seemed most likely at the beginning of the year were Did You Whisper Back? and Suckers n Scallies.

But in fact it turned out to be Thalidomide Kid

I also wanted to begin another Little Guide type of book and I am pleased to say that I've at least started jotting down some notes for this. 

These were my main writing goals.  I had reading goals (books to be read) and I have managed to read and review most of those I'd set myself to read this year.  The other goals were non-writing ones but we also managed to have our garden decking replaced by paving!  This had been on the cards for ages so we're really pleased to get it done and have it admired by several neighbours! And the great thing about it is, the rain really brings out the colours of the stones as you can see.

Well, I hope you've all had a good 2018 and managed to fulfil your goals and chase your dreams.  I try not to make too many at the beginning of a year so they are manageable and achievable.  It will soon be time to make those for 2019 so I better remember that!

Anyway, that just leaves me to wish you all a merry festive season and a big thank you to new readers  and reviewers who have read and enjoyed my books, and supported me through out the year.  It means so much and makes all the difference.

A happy new year to one and all X

Monday, 16 July 2018

Pauline Barclay : Addiction - Kate Rigby

Pauline Barclay : Addiction - Kate Rigby: In this special feature about addiction I am truly delighted to have, Kate Rigby sitting in the hot seat talking about her book, Dow...

Sunday, 25 February 2018

First Person Present - and other presents!

There's little in the fiction world that generates more polarised views than this: past tense vs present tense fiction.

Recently I was in a Facebook Writers and Readers' Group, when one member asked if she was the only one who didn't get on with books written in the First Person Present.

I must say I don't mind what tense a book is written in as long as the writing is good and the book engaging. But present tense does lend a book immediacy. Now I get that it's not everyone's cuppa, that's fine.  But it's an opinion, a taste.  That's all.

However the discussion got quite heated, with one reader becoming quite dictatorial about it.  This veteran reader was doling out advice of 'stick to the past tense...unless you are...' (named authors I'd not heard of). As I say he was a seasoned reader but he had no time for seasoned authors who might not write in his preferred tense or genre.  He then went on to make some comment about 'alienating readers at your peril' but from his comments, I doubt that any of my books would have been of interest to him, since they employ the very devices he doesn't have time for.  I write literary fiction, not commercial fiction, and frequently employ present tense if the story demands it.  If you read and write in the literary tradition writing in the present tense is second nature.  

Another author also joined in the debate with the advice that 'writers should stick to the past tense'. Really?  I tried to debate this by arguing that there was no 'should' about it - that it's a personal preference for a particular narrative style but she wasn't having it at all. She justified her stance with 'Did Stephen King or J K Rowling use present tense?  I rest my case.'

Personally I've not read J K Rowling and although I'm sure her books have adult appeal too, they aren't really my bag.  At the same time I totally admire her success and her ability to tap into an archetype at the right time and turn it into a commercial success.  Kudos to her and anybody who has success on a mass scale.  But, not everyone is setting out to write books with mass commercial appeal. Many of us write niche.

The two reactions described above are by no means unusual. Some readers and authors demand tradition.  However this wasn't a present tense vs past tense debate at all.  It was a commercial vs literally fiction debate.  Literary fiction authors often use first person present.  The author in the above-mentioned debate went on to say how she does a blog on writing tips. This concerned me, that she is telling new authors how to write.

Of course there are rights and wrongs of writing. Some novice authors will often switch between present and past unknowingly. In another part of the discussion tense-switching among inexperienced writers came up, and yes, this is a fair criticism. Unwittingly slipping into past tense when writing a book in the present tense is a mistake of the inexperienced.  The key question is - was it intentional?  Many experienced authors switch tense as a device. Many write in past and present tense in the same book and it won't always be an obvious use of them either.  I have seen accomplished authors write about the recent past in past tense and the more distant past in the present tense. It works. I have seen accomplished authors, not only switch tenses purposefully to great effect, but also switch from first person to third and even to second in the same book.  This is a common narrative technique with literary fiction.

Once again, in this debate, many critics of both first and third person present, tended to think it was unusual or gimmicky or new, because of books like The Hunger Games (I've not read them) or because of WattPad.  However, seasoned readers of lit fic will know it's neither new nor unusual. The following authors have all used present tense in their books - many of them award-winning: Kate Atkinson, Margaret Atwood, Jessie Burton, Eimear McBride, Emma Donoghue, Jon McGregor, Hilary Mantel, Wyl Menmuir and many more.

If people don't like present tense, it's their prerogative, just as it's mine not to like Westerns or Paranormal or things with werewolves, as long as they know that it's purely subjective.  But to dismiss all present tense books out of hand, for this reason and this reason only, is a bit like dismissing all pop songs in third person past tense.  

Saturday, 3 February 2018

RIP Mo Foster - A personal tribute to a very talented author, friend and unique character

We met you at Southampton Uni reading poetry at the women's group, over 30 years ago, even though you weren't at the uni, wasn't it typical of you to make yourself at home, the poem was a funny one about men and puddles which I have since learned from your friends on Facebook was called Boggerel. I remember when you read it, those fast words blurring into each other, which I later realised is what characterised your voice, especially when nervous or excited.

I don’t think we spoke to you then but you remembered us - my sister and me - for our colourful hair and punky clothes.

When we went to Bournemouth & Poole Women's Group late 80s you were a mutual friend of Chris, also sadly gone, in fact on the day we told you over the phone that she'd died, was the same day as you had a stroke in 2004, but you survived that and many TIAs. 

After you had your stroke you mentioned how the nurses thought that had caused your hard to understand speech! We did a mean impression of you which gave us confidence in tricky situations. The more animated you got or the more funny you find something the harder it was to follow what you were saying, especially on the phone, but in your presence when you laughed your eyes slitted and your cheek bones went even higher.

We saw you a lot in the 90s when we were in Boscombe and you were in Bournemouth for the weekend seeing your ex husband Sid. You'd come with your dog, Zipper, or Zit, as you called him, on your way to Hengistbury Head, one of your favourite places because you could walk Zit there. One of my favourite places too, those gorgeous beach huts like little houses. I went drumming there with you and your friends there once, Hazel, was it, who had a beach hut there or rented one and you were impatient with Ann for getting all depressed and upset over a shit of a bloke. Your poem Monopoly On Suffering by Mo Cuthbertson (classy - your birth mother’s name, I believe) was blue-tacked on our kitchen cupboard for ages until it curled and kept falling off.

You met our friend Elaine and were quite taken with her and her northern accent. One time we argued with each other on the head as you were annoyed about us wanting to leave Boscombe but we got all teary and huggy afterwards and I think you respected us for standing up to you! 

We once went drumming at Corfe Castle with you and we drummed for money! It worked! Within a few days our parents decided to give us some of our inheritance early towards the purchase of a house.

We went to a cafe in Swanage with you and many other things. Always we joked about the wall of backs at that Pagan Moot in a Charminster pub, how welcoming, not! Before we moved to Wimborne you took one of Ann's old painting which she was going to leave behind, it was the innards of an old Bakelite telephone which you put on your wall and some art dealer took an interest in it years later but you forgot his name (Ann swears you took a picture of a colander so maybe you took a couple).

We moved to Wimborne in 95 and you still came to visit us on your Bournemouth weekends. You lost your Irish ex Micky and were devastated. You met our special friend Carole when she was visiting us at Wimborne. You were enthralled by her Chesterfield accent and her wisdom and what she stood for, what she knew you felt was instinctive, and I lent you one of those long insightful missives she sent us regularly and is probably – possibily? – still somewhere among your stuff. I travelled by public transport to Soton to see a play of yours in a university room (was it?) doubling up as a prison cell because you were mainly a playwright in those days while you were teaching writing classes at Soton. You may have had your latest dog Saffie by now, a border terrier, who we finally met in 2010.

When Diana was killed you called her a dozy C and you said it was the queen who did it, haha! We always said happy birthmass because of your Crimbo birthday – bit of a bummer for you, we always thought.

We kept in touch with you after we moved to Devon in the late 90s. You nearly came to see us there once but it was a too hot July day and so we put you off. You kept in touch by phone and we exchanged writing news. I still have the copy of Diva magazine where you had a story published and in the Oldie you wrote one about Rillington Place and I asked if it was true and you said ‘nah, of course it isn’t’ or words to the effect. We both had short stories published in Skrev’s experimental fiction anthology and you supported my books, Fall Of The Flamingo Circus and Suckers n Scallies. You said you liked hanging out with the bad kids and how working class kids had a lot of physical contact with each other. I was so thrilled to have put you in touch with Pepper Books who later became Paper Books and the rest is history.  Your gritty novel A Blues For Shindig about your life in 1950s Soho was snapped up and a fabulous document of that time.  

You loved new people, outcasts, colourful people, people on the fringes of life, people who were well-read, people from different ethnic backgrounds. You questioned the meaning of life a lot, you went to Quaker meetings at one point, you were an avid listener to Radio 4 and you read the grain. 

We saw you last in 2010 when we went back for a catch up with friends on Bournemouth. We thought you wouldn't show but you did. You were usual blunt self by saying we looked older and fatter! Bint is a word I associate with you.  I think you’d met your Russian lover Albertine by then, in fact you did a piece in the graun about it and how happier you were and you went out to Russia and Cuba (I think) and you did seem generally less crotchety and more philosophical but not enough to use your biting edge and bolshie self. That never went. Because heaven forbid that we sanitise you. But your love pressed you to look for your birth mother. We remember you finding your voice after the meeting with your birth mother - which didn't quite go according to plan but another opportunity for a story.

You even found creativity in cancer and wrote your blog and called your tumour Tubby. You kept us all enthralled with your descriptions of the sky on each new day and your neighbour problems and your cat visitor. 

Here is one of those many funny lively gritty down to earth posts:

11th January 2018

Grey again & it was foggy earlier but no nice
foghorns. Can scarcely believe yesterday was
masquerading as lovely spring, fortunately it
is still working as a cheer up factor & it may yet
manifest later. I doubt it!
Reference to yesterday blog: I am not exceptional
in my response to cancer, the only thing that is
exceptional is my own self-absorption & the fact
that I write about the facts as I see them. I should
dislike being in hospital & to some degree this
solitary life suits me very well – chuck me lots of
nosh & the keyboard & I am fine, within limits,
I lack stimulus for sure. Miss the outside but my
tree is there & my foolish jasmine is blushing into
pink buds & next doors’ near continual smoke fest
intrigues my nosey heart – 4am today a lively
conversation was alive! I am fortunate to be able
to afford all I need which is not a lot so cheers

& thanks,

I dreamt of you the night following the news of your passing and you were playing chess, me and another ( a guy) were looking on while you imagined your invisible opponent’s moves but then you made up your own moves and were very excited, one piece was doing a sort of spin around another. That sort of summed you up, playing life by your own rules and rebelling! A friend of the family who passed last year used to say RIP meant rejoice in paradise but for you RIP surely means Rebel In Paradise.

Monday, 4 December 2017

Goals For 2017 mostly achieved!

Well it's already December but I am happy to say I achieved most of my goals for this year by late October!

I tried not to set too many for myself this year so that they'd be achievable and of course goals include many non-writing ones too.

My writing goals this year (some of them carried over from last year or even the year before) were:

- Finish the neighbours' at war story - I first penned this back in 2005/6. As the national and international news as well as the political climate formed a backdrop to the story it was badly in need of an update set as it is in 2012/13. I also wanted to include the austerity years and welfare reform so in a way it was harder to do this than start from scratch. I think this is why it took so long.

- A follow up to my novel Down The Tubes - this has been in the pipeline since 2014 and was calling. I finally got started a few weeks ago.

- Getting another book of mine into paperback, possibly Fruit Woman or The Dead Club - both would be nice, was another goal I wrote on January 1st. I'm thrilled to have fulfilled them both.

Other goals

-   HRT Patches - as I suffer with hyperhydrosis I decided I would try HRT patches. Alas these failed dismally but at least I tried. I have also tried three different medications - one of these I may have started last year. The one that has had the most effect has been prescribed in the last few weeks. Unfortunately, there are big side-effects so I continue to abstain unless really necessary and continue to juggle to find the optimum dose.

- Maybe seeing an endocrinologist or at least some private cortisol tests - As I have Fibromyalgia which is similar to hypothyroidism I have been investigating this link. I did get some private blood tests which aren't routinely done on the NHS. My GP did refer me to an endocrinologist, and the endocrinologist gave my GP some very detailed notes and advice some of which included further tests etc which are still ongoing. At least I will be able to rule out anything else by having these tests.

- Genealogy - Alas I haven't done any more on this, this year. My parents did a lot of work in the 1970s on the family history so they did the bulk of the leg work. And it was literally leg work in those days, as they went to visit towns and to look up old parish records on microfiche for hours! There was no Internet back then so it was a real labour of love and I'm very grateful for all that they achieved.

- Updating iPod and music! - I think this got done pretty early on in the year, but it was one of those small jobs that gets put off and was niggling me!

- Ann's art - The idea was to help my sister set up a website for her art work. This is one of those goals that keeps getting postponed, and alas did again this year. But I'm sure I did offer during the year, but it has to be the right time for us both!

The hall, and moving towards getting a cat! - This refers to the hall units installed with a space for a cat litter box! These got completed in January - no cat yet but a cupboard filled with Xmas 

I also have a separate 'to be read' reading list but Goodreads will keep me posted on that, I'm sure!

I hope all of you who have set goals for yourself have achieved them too or as near as damn it :)

In the meantime, all good wishes for the festive season and 2018 and thanks for dropping in to my blog.